This scares me.
but imagine going into a store and being like “yes i need three thousand knives”
Hahhahaahahaha me rn
Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”, what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000.00”.
Not the time for a dad joke.
wearing these during sex
SOMEONE FUCKING MADE A SAND SCULPTURE OF THE CREEPY HAPPY MEAL
i want dogs to be allowed at more places and i want children under 6 to not be
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck